Men-of-Arms check The Hill ahead of Great Haggis Hunt

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New Year weather hasn’t been kind to the Great Selkirk Haggis Hunt’s scouting parties, writes Bob Burgess.

High winds and driving rain have tested the hardy souls on their ventures to The Hill from the comfort of their HQ at the Town Arms.

But led by Hill Chieftain, Commander Beachy Grieve, the hunting grounds have been surveyed.

The battle-hardened army veteran told The Wee Paper: “When you have fought against desert sands and blazing sun, you can’t allow a breeze and a few showers to get in the way of a job that has to be done.

“A few of the lads weren’t too keen to head for the wilds because of the weather, but a few quiet words from me and we are off.”

The commander added: “These scouting sessions are important to the success of the Town Arms Great Selkirk Haggis Hunt. We have to know where the puddings are so we can point the hunters in the right direction.

“And, you know, the haggis isn’t really a big beast. In the desert we could spot the camels a mile away – but it’s much more difficult with the haggis.”

Assistant Head Haggis Hunter Davie Scott revealed: “Reports from The Hill are good. The numbers are profuse, so I think we can guarantee a good bag. There has been good procreation on The Hill – just as you would expect.”

The Great Selkirk Haggis Hunt takes place on Sunday, January 25 – the first time it has been held on the birthday of the Bard Burns.

Hunters, wearing as much tartan as possible, should gather in the Market Place for a stirrup cup at 11.02am. Preferred weapons are baggy nets and cricket bats. Guns are forbidden.

Piper Colin Turnbull will lead the hunters to The Hill.