TURBO (U) Pavilion, Galashiels

Turbo © 2013 DreamWorks Animation LLC. All Rights Reserved
Turbo © 2013 DreamWorks Animation LLC. All Rights Reserved

No-one’s going to rave. No-one’s going to cry. No-one’s going to complain that they wasted hard earned dosh on popcorn and fizzes, for what? Smiley faces everyone! Turbo does what it says on the tin.

Rather than make a cartoon feature about a tortoise who became an astronaut, DreamWorks made one about a snail that wants to compete in the Indy 500 (US equivalent of F1).

OK, let’s demystify the magic. Theo is a garden snail who dreams of being a racing driver. His immediate family and friends worry about crows, the kid on the trike, known as The Shell Crusher, and the mower guy who cuts the lawn outside their veg patch.

One day, Theo gets sucked into the engine of a souped up racer and after he’s spat out of the exhaust pipe finds he can snail slide faster than Lewis Hamilton. And then his life changes and he meets a whole new bunch of friends, including two Mexican brothers who run a taco van on waste ground in the derelict district of LA.

They recognise the potential of Theo’s extraordinary talents (“You’ve got the skills to pay the bills”) and have the energy to make them work for him.

Feel good? Feel everything, bro. Even the baddy is a goody in disguise. The film matches the subtlety of its catch phrase – “That snail is fast” – and quite soon, with the help of Electronic Communications Inc and social networks everywhere, the entire nation is saying it.

Will Theo (“My name is Turbo” – copy that!) be allowed to compete in the Indy 500 and, if so, win it? Go easy on the sauce, boys. Did you say, “Win it?”

Anything can happen with DreamWorks. Well, almost anything. That tortoise is still crawling towards Cape Canaveral.

Meanwhile, stay with the message.

That snail is fast!