Moral: don’t make Iron cross

editorial image

Iron Man 3 (12A) The Pavilion, Galashiels

Tony Stark doesn’t look well. He’s cracking up; he’s exhausted (“When was the last time you had a good night’s sleep?”); he’s played by Robert Downey Jr, who is famous for morning after dishevelment cool.

It could be because this is the third outing for The Iron Man and he’s tired of those special effect storms. Well, take a good deep breath from the oxygen bottle. Numero 3 might be the best and last.

Plot? Perleeese! Ever heard of taking over the world? Baddie with big brain, weapons of mass mutilation, truck loads of heavies and the morals of Satan’s sick twin? Mr D Incarnate, under the pseudonym Aldrich Killian (Guy Pearce), wants to wipe Stark from the celebrity A-list – kill the little squirt – chicknap his girlfriend (Gwyneth Paltrow) and off the President.

Iron, like Bat, is not a superhero. These iconic comic stalwarts are millionaires with a mission, to rid the neighbourhood of annoying megalomaniacs. One has a fancy car, the other fancy armour. Here’s the difference, which is why, in movie terms, they are not on the same page. Bat is one serious dude. Iron is funny.

Whatever obscene salary Downey was paid for this green screen extravaganza, it was worth every penny. The man should be nominated for best action comedy performance of the year.He brings the film out of the heroics stratosphere into an area of natural foolishness. Iron’s kit is constantly going wrong and Stark’s response to almost everything, including imminent death, is a look of amused resignation.

One question from someone who does not engage in the hard core extremes of X Box gaming: how much violence is required before a 12A certificate becomes a 15? IM3 is borderline.