The prime suspect in the case of the disappearing eggs

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We have a mystery playing out at Shoogly Towers. Sadly, it won’t make a case for the brilliant Mr Sherlock Holmes. The game, sadly, won’t be afoot any time soon in the chook run, Watson.

What we need is Mulder and Scully (showing my age again. Although Scully – Gillian Anderson – doesn’t seem to be. Showing her age, that is). This could be a case for them. They always liked a good mystery.

If you’re Gamford’s age or a tad younger, you might be more comfortable with a Cagney and Lacey comparison. Or if you’re somewhere in between those ages, a Crockett and Tubbs analogy might suit you better. Reader’s choice. Be as young as you like. Stray into cartoons if you like. Hong Kong Phooey gets my vote.

Anyhoo, I’m wandering off the point. Again. The point I’m trying to make is that the chook run has turned into a crime scene. Perhaps it’s CSI we need then.

Besides lots of hens going broody, as was happening last week, and not laying eggs (big chook crime), the eating of eggs is probably The Second Worst Crime A Chicken Can Commit.

It’s OK for humans to eat eggs, but not chooks.

They are supposed to do the laying and then let us, the human folk, do the eating. But now and again this natural order goes awry.

Gamford has been most perturbed to note that in the last month or so a hen has been eating eggs. Our freshly-laid eggs which we eat and sell. Emphasis on “we eat”, not “hens eat”.

The evidence wouldn’t need CSI to go over it with a fine tooth comb (do they actually do that? It must take them ages. Not to mention the wear and tear on the combs).

It’s very, erm, evident evidence – the rest of the eggs round about the scene of the crime are covered in dried yolk.

And bits of dried, broken shell. Which are very hard to remove.

A few weeks ago Gamford had what in the crime-busting world – or even down the local cop shop – would be known as “a breakthrough”. He caught the offending bird hot-footing it away from a smashed egg.

Or, at least he thinks it was the offending bird. It may have been just another nosy beak, having a look at the crime-busting scene.

Hard to tell. There didn’t seem to be any yolk on its beak (Sherlock would be proud of my powers of deduction) but he followed and apprehended it nevertheless.

Although, naturally, he was unable to extract a full confession, he took the precaution of marking it out as a wrong-doer that he could keep an eye on.

And yes, just like in the real world of police and thieves, he did this with a tag. Or, in this case, as it was a hen, by putting a yellow poultry ring round its leg.

The jury’s out on whether we’ll catch her in the act.

But, oh, how I laughed.

A Peckham Rolex for the criminal chook.