First crush draws me back to the Poldark side

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This week, I am going to be brutally honest and say that this is definitely one for the lay-dees. Heterosexual, metrosexual, spornosexual and especially retrosexual gents, look away now. Gay men, stick with it and see what you think. You might enjoy it.

I am currently reliving my first ever crush. Ssh! Don’t tell Mr E! Well, actually, I think he already knows. And he’s not too retrosexual to know that it’s OK. I am unlikely ever to meet the object of my affectations, and having Googled his lay-dee friend, I can definitely say I am not his type or his age. By almost two decades. Ahem.

Sadly, at the time of my first crush, the original crush and the one I am currently reliving (do keep up!), I was waaaaay too young – by about the same two decades. Or perhaps three. Sigh.

I’m afraid all this crushery has very little to do with smallholding, and everything to do with a TV programme. Although there is the slenderest of links to agriculture – it did feature scything corn by hand. Topless. Now you don’t see that every day in the Borders. But the climate in Cornwall, where this drama series is set, seems positively tropical.

It’s a crush which I had as a child, on one of the stars of a TV drama my mum used to watch. And I’m sure there are many, many women across the UK around my age who shared that first crush.

And I am sure they felt the same mild excitement when it was announced that this much-loved TV series was being remade.

Yes. I’m talking about Poldark. Having briefly touched on the subject of the new Poldark a couple of weeks ago, I now feel, several episodes into the series, that I must – for the sake of Sunday night female TV fluffery – examine the subject (and its male lead in particular) much further.

My original Poldark fancy, Robin Ellis, who starred as the tall, dark, handsome Ross Poldark, has filmed a couple of cameos for the film. I was pleased to see he’s wearing quite well.

A straw poll of Poldarkites (ie. female friends) has confirmed just how popular Mr Ellis was in the original series. “It was the ponytail!” “No, it was the tricorn hat!” “Nooooooooo! It was the tight breeches.” We just couldn’t agree. We all had our own reasons for our crush.

One lay-dee even suggested that Robin Ellis had been, in his prime, Britain’s answer to Richard Gere. Acting-wise or looks-wise, I wonder? Perhaps not quite (so sorry Robin) looks-wise but, I think, possibly better, acting-wise.

I don’t want to offend any die-hard Gere fans, but Rich pretty much does the same twinkly-eyed, mild-mannered, well-groomed gent in the majority of his roles – he plays himself, in other words.

Judi Dench is another actor who pretty much plays herself, as are Jack Nicholson, Vince Vaughn and Adam Sandler. If you watch Jack Black in a movie you get ... Jack Black.

But I digress.

We are all agreed on one thing, and that is that Aidan Turner, the new Ross, is utterly watchable. In a way that a spider might watch a fly. A flurry of texts went round before the much-anticipated brief skinny-dip he took the other week. And the half-naked corn scything was a beaut.

Perhaps the fact that Cornwall looks like the Riviera helps. But it is all about Ross. The dialogue is pretty predictable, the other cast members are mere set-fillers who do little to detract from the magnetic pull of Aidan’s twinkly eyes and pearly smile.

A glass of wine at 9pm on Sundays has become a regular treat, as I settle down in eager anticipation of the next farming task that could necessitate Ross Poldark taking his shirt off. Now, I couldn’t have done that first Poldark around. Cheers.