THOR : THE DARK WORLD (12A) Pavilion, Galashiels

Undated Film Still Handout from Thor: The Dark World. Pictured: CHRIS HEMSWORTH as Thor and ANTHONY HOPKINS as Odin. See PA Feature FILM Film Reviews. Picture credit should read: PA Photo/Marvel. WARNING: This picture must only be used to accompany PA Feature FILM PFilm Reviews.

Undated Film Still Handout from Thor: The Dark World. Pictured: CHRIS HEMSWORTH as Thor and ANTHONY HOPKINS as Odin. See PA Feature FILM Film Reviews. Picture credit should read: PA Photo/Marvel. WARNING: This picture must only be used to accompany PA Feature FILM PFilm Reviews.

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Thor (Aussie hunk Chris Hemsworth) looks the part – tall, blond and six-packed. But surely, there’s more than that.

What about the plot? If you can make sense of it, here’s a snatch: nasty tribe has lost its swirly black cloud thingy that acts like a chemical weapon. The nice tribe, as represented by King Odin (Anthony Hopkins, with tinted plastic eye patch), is relieved that the war is over and can begin rehearsals for the next Hobbit movie.Suddenly, the scene changes from Middle Earth in outer space to London, 2013 where Jane (Natalie Portman) discovers she has swirly black bits coming out of her and can do weird stuff, like elevate and scare her friends. The bad clan chief (Christopher Eccleston, disguised as a purple lizard) hears about this and decides to visit Greenwich in a flying skyscraper.And then there’s the mad scientist (Stellan Skarsgard) who works in his underpants and Thor’s wicked brother (Tom Hiddleston) who spends most of the movie looking elegantly bored behind bars, and Thor’s hammer which has magic powers.

Phew! Forget about the plot. Not difficult. Remembering it is the hard part.

You are now entering CGI City, where anything goes and usually does. It’s a visual treat for those who don’t care if it makes sense, or not.

The scriptwriters, of whom there are many, slot in nudge-nudge one-liners every now and again, which are much appreciated. As a tongue-in-cheek effects-heavy faux blockbuster, Thor 2 earns its place in The Mindless Hall of Fame beside Cowboys & Aliens.