It’s just not very super at all, sadly

HENRY CAVILL as Superman in Warner Bros. Pictures�" and Legendary Pictures�" action adventure �SMAN OF STEEL,⬝ a Warner Bros. Pictures release.

HENRY CAVILL as Superman in Warner Bros. Pictures�" and Legendary Pictures�" action adventure �SMAN OF STEEL,⬝ a Warner Bros. Pictures release.

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A new monster has landed on Planet Multiplex. If allowed to go unchecked the minds of our youth will be frazzled. This monster has a name, CGI, and its latest victim is The Big S.

Man Of Steel opens in chaos as Krypton is about to implode and Kal-El’s dad (Russell Crowe) stuffs him, as a new born baby, into a space thingee and sends him off to a safer, distant star called Earth.

Kal-El is discovered in a field and brought up by Kevin Costner and Diane Lane (mid-Western farmers – can you believe it?) and becomes an oil rig worker.

At the age of 33 he has managed to hide his superpowers because Dad (Kev, not Russ) told him the world is not ready and will fear him, which means they will try to kill him because in America the army chiefs are petrified of anything they don’t understand.

At this point, if not before, the plot loses itself and plays catch-up with the monster CGI.

Dead people come to life, or appear as ghosts. The bad general (Michael Shannon) from Krypton, which should have been obliterated in a volcanic meltdown, appears with henchpeople in bigger space thingees looking for Kal-El (Clark Kent to you) because he has The Codex, whatever that is, which seems to be important for the future of his didn’t-it-explode planet.

From now on the monster CGI takes over and horrendous battles occur, with cars flying about, skyscrapers collapsing and supreme violence perpetuated on every side. Logic does not exist, neither does Clark Kent, the journalist. Lois Lane (Amy Adams) is around, but her role has little meaning other than being Clark’s squeeze (hands only).

DC Comics had a part in this. After all, Superman is theirs. Allowing him to be CGI-ed out of existence is a crime against icons.

To add injury to injury, the film is in 3-D. It makes no difference. The ghost of Christopher Reeve has left the building.