All muscle, no substance

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Some people take the view that superheroes are superzeros. Immortality, they claim, is a blot in the rear view mirror because if you can’t die, where’s the thrill?

The X-Men have separate powers which are effective enough as a team effort but individually expose limitations.

Wolverine (the impossibly muscular Hugh Jackman) is a bit of a fave, although his attributes are less dramatic - retractable steel claws are so Nightmare On Elm Street!

This is the fifth outing for Jackman in the role, with another on the way next year.

He looks grumpy most of the time, possibly because he’s read the script. He walks like Spongebob Squarepants, although the girls go for him (allegedly).

He’s a troubled man, limping and scowling, exhausted from having to repel hordes of thugs without back-up, or access to a personal trainer.

The plot is too embarrassing to talk about.

It involves Nagasaki, the atom bomb, two Japanese princesses who fancy Wolfy, a wrinkled billionaire who wants to Fame it (live forever) and a group of guerrilla fighters who leap about on roofs, using Hunger Games weaponry.

Most of all it involves martial arts in 3D, which would have been simpler to follow in 2D.

As a megabucks blockbuster, The Wolverine is an enigma. The words “money” and “waste” come to mind. The mutant’s ability to heal wounds in minutes means that a bullet in the guts is the equivalent of a punch in the solar plexus.

Is there a point to it all? X-fans might like to answer that. No one else can.